Someone recently asked me how I would describe myself and without thinking about it I just said "Dumb." This could be viewed as both an incitement to unconfidence or on the contrary a sort of pompous joke implying that I am anything but. I think I meant it though, on some level; I generally think I am great and yet I am aware of a graceless boar in me who trundles through work and school and light conversation, misquoting and mispronouncing and generally being politically incorrect.

I suppose I could be disciplined and teach myself not to say a quote without knowing it's true, or talk on a subject I don't know anything about, or make a joke at someone's expense without knowing they can handle it. But I'm trying to be a more fluid part of my own life and the lives of others around me; more experience, less calculation. I figure even if I don't end up as far as I could have gone I will end up somewhere delightfully random.

I keep reading this line from Francois Sagan:
"My love of pleasure seems to be the only coherent part of my personality. Perhaps it is because I havent read enough?"